As I turn 38, I’m hit with a realisation that’s shaped my entire life: there are no shortcuts. No cheat codes. No fast lanes to success, happiness, or clarity. You grow by facing challenges head-on, navigating uncertainty, and trusting that every experience—even the messy ones—are shaping you into the person you’re meant to be.
We live in a world where everyone’s searching for quick answers, but life doesn’t work like that. If you want something real, something that lasts, you’ve got to do the work. And I’m not talking about perfect plans or flawless execution—I’m talking about showing up, making mistakes, and learning as you go. That’s where the magic happens.
1. Start Where You Are, Even If You’re Not Ready
I started working at 18. No roadmap, no guarantee of where I was headed—just a lot of ambition and the drive to figure it out. From marketing to radio, from youth development to education, my path has been anything but straightforward. But here’s the thing: you don’t need to have it all figured out to take action. You just need to start. Clarity comes through action, not the other way around.
2. When You Don’t Have What You Need, You Make It Work
I didn’t wait until everything was perfect to start my master’s degree. I borrowed money, took a 3-hour bus ride three times a week, and made it happen. There were moments I felt like quitting, but those tough situations? They teach you grit. You don’t need to have all the resources at your fingertips—what you need is the resourcefulness to figure it out.
3. Growth Comes From Leaning Into Discomfort
Moving to Portugal was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I barely spoke the language, felt out of place, and had to start from scratch—professionally and personally. But the discomfort? It forced me to grow in ways I couldn’t have imagined. If something scares you, it’s probably the thing you need to do. Lean in. That’s where real growth happens.
4. Get Clear on What You Want—And Don’t Settle for Less
I’ve had relationships that taught me what I didn’t want. One I ran from because I wasn’t ready to face the challenges, and another where I stayed way too long, even when things were falling apart. These experiences weren’t failures—they were lessons. They taught me to stop settling for less than I deserve and to get clear on what I truly want. Once I got that clarity, I met my partner, and we began building a life that felt aligned.
5. Motherhood Is a Whole New Level of Growth
We all think we know what hard is—until we become parents. Motherhood has been the most incredible, humbling experience of my life. Balancing my drive as a high-performer with the patience and presence motherhood demands is a daily challenge. And here’s the truth: I’m still figuring it out. But it’s taught me to slow down, embrace the moments, and understand that it’s okay not to have all the answers.
6. Loneliness Teaches You How to Reconnect
As an expat mom, loneliness hit me hard. Far from home, far from the familiar, I felt isolated—even with a great partner. But loneliness isn’t something to run from. It’s a prompt. It teaches you how to reconnect—first with yourself, then with the people who matter. Motherhood, especially in a foreign country, has been a lesson in redefining what connection truly means.
7. Systems Create Freedom
I’m all about freedom—freedom to be present, to work on what I love, to spend time with my family. But freedom doesn’t come from chaos. It comes from systems. Whether it’s organizing household tasks, meal prepping, or investing in tools like a faster vacuum or an air fryer, systems save me time and mental energy. They free up space so I can be fully present with my son and focused on my business. Want more freedom? Build systems that work for you.
8. Self-Awareness Is Everything
Climbing the professional ladder in a new country, hitting personal goals—none of it felt meaningful until I developed real self-awareness. I could achieve all I wanted, but without knowing who I truly was and what drove me, it was empty. Success without self-awareness? It’s like running in circles. Self-awareness is the foundation. It’s what makes everything else possible.
9. Your Journey Is Yours to Own
We’re all looking for the next step—the cheat code, the shortcut, the formula. But the truth is, no one else can tell you how to live your life. Your journey is yours alone. The challenges you face, the lessons you learn—those are what shape you. And they don’t look like anyone else’s. So stop comparing. Stop waiting for permission. Own your journey.
What’s Next?
This year, I’ve been stepping into two major roles—building my consultancy as an adult learning and metacognitive strategist, and continuing to develop MetaMonica as my way of giving back. Through my consultancy, I aim at helping companies and individuals rethink how they learn and grow. It’s not about one-size-fits-all programs—it’s about personalized learning frameworks that adapt to who you are, not the other way around. And through MetaMonica, I share my experiences, tools, and insights to help people develop their self-awareness. Because that’s where everything starts.
So here’s to 38 years of real, messy, beautiful growth. No shortcuts, no cheat codes—just life, lived fully.
What’s one lesson life has taught you that you wouldn’t trade for anything?
