What do we do with the parts of life that hurt?
The parts that bring us to our knees, that make us question who we are and where we’re going. Most of us want to run, to distract ourselves, to avoid the weight of loss. But what if the greatest personal growth happens when we stop running? What if facing the hardest parts of life is the key to unlocking who we truly are?
Valerie Perrin’s Fresh Water for Flowers is a story of pain and resilience. The main character, Violette Toussaint, isn’t extraordinary at first glance. She’s a caretaker of a cemetery (a job I also didn’t know it exists) – quiet, thoughtful, hidden in the background of life. Yet, her story of dealing with grief and trauma reveals a deep truth about what it means to live authentically.
Life doesn’t wait for us to be ready. It happens in the cracks of the ordinary.
This is where the power of the story lies. We can’t control when loss strikes, but we can control what we do after. Violette teaches us this: to move through grief, to rebuild a life that seems broken beyond repair, we must sit with our memories. We must confront our pasts, even the ugliest parts, if we want to live fully in the present.
Here’s where this story hits home for anyone on a journey of self-discovery — resilience isn’t just about surviving, it’s about thriving after the fall. We are all, in some ways, like Violette. We carry grief, whether it’s loss of a loved one, missed opportunities, or the quiet disappointments that accumulate over time. What makes the difference is how we choose to let these experiences shape us.
What it meant to Monica?
For me, reading Fresh Water for Flowers was an invitation (another one) to slow down and reflect on the unspoken, often hidden emotions that shape our daily lives. Violette’s story of resilience in the face of loss felt deeply personal — as if she was holding up a mirror to all the moments I, too, have navigated grief, both large and small. As someone who’s passionate about learning, not just in the academic sense but in the emotional and psychological realms, this book reminded me of the importance of acknowledging our emotional landscape. It’s a necessary step toward personal growth, and one that often gets overlooked.
Violette’s resilience made me think about how we, as individuals, can take ownership of our learning journeys — not just by acquiring knowledge but by learning from life’s most challenging experiences. This ties directly into my work with MetaMonica, where I emphasise the importance of self-awareness and metacognition as tools to help individuals navigate their personal and professional growth.
To cut the story short, I can say that in essence Fresh Water for Flowers is a reminder that we learn from life itself, and sometimes, our biggest teachers are our own experiences.
What does this mean for you?
- Are you running from the parts of your story that hurt?
or…
- Are you, like Violette, finding a way to turn loss into strength?
Fresh Water for Flowers it’s also a reminder that we can’t heal if we don’t face the pain. The road to healing isn’t glamorous. It’s messy, often lonely. But it’s necessary.
Your journey to self-awareness starts with acknowledging every part of your story — especially the hard ones.
How does this relate to learning?
As an adult learner, every experience teaches. Metacognition, for example, isn’t just about the way we learn, it’s about why we learn. When we reflect deeply on our past — on the moments that shaped us, both positively and negatively– we gain the awareness to become intentional learners. Like Violette, who transforms her grief into resilience, you can transform your challenges into powerful learning moments.
True learning happens when we’re ready to sit with the uncomfortable truths — the ones that teach us who we really are and what we need to do to grow.
Why take action?
This isn’t just a story to read and put away — it’s a guide to how can we navigate our own lives. The moments of grief, joy, or uncertainty don’t just happen to us. They are moments that we can learn from if we choose to stop and reflect. Action is the next natural step after reflection. Without it, insights remain just that — ideas with potential, but no impact. By taking intentional action, we turn knowledge into growth, pain into strength, and loss into purpose.
That’s why I included this section matters — it’s about moving from passive reflection to active transformation. It’s about turning your story into something powerful, something that shapes your next steps forward.
What can you do next?
- Reflect:
- What are the lessons hidden in your struggles?
- What grief or loss have you avoided facing?
- Take 10 minutes today to journal about the parts of your story you haven’t yet embraced.
- Act:
- Choose one small step to turn that reflection into action. Whether it’s a conversation, a decision, or a simple internal acknowledgment, commit to moving forward.
- Share:
- Healing happens in community. Just like Violette found peace by opening herself to others, find someone to share your thoughts with today. You don’t have to do it alone.
Life is full of moments — some beautiful, some painful — but all of them matter. If you’re ready to take the next step in your personal journey, MetaMonica is here to help you turn your reflections into growth.
Like Steven Bartlett often says, “No one is coming to save you.” It’s your story, your journey, and your choice to create something meaningful out of if.
What will you choose?
