In the quiet solitude of early morning, there’s a unique form of joy known only to parents as sleep-deprived bliss. It’s in these moments, between the stillness of the night and the promise of a new day, that I find an unexpected peace and happiness in the demands of motherhood.
The 3 AM Ritual
Story of my life as a mom – waking up at 3 am, after falling asleep at 00:30, to hold, breastfeed, walk, rock, and kiss your baby for the next two to three hours. Then, when he’s finally sleeping better, but you’re wide awake, the day is breaking, and you dream of having your morning coffee alone. So, you sneak out and go downstairs for a flavourful decaf, because karma does exist, and you’ve become intolerant to caffeine, despite growing what feels like a coffee mug extension of your right hand over the past 20 years.
A quiet moment with coffee
And while your coffee is in the making, you’re checking in with your tribe because you feel the need to shout “good morning!”
I’m enjoying a coffee all by myself in the early morning, after only 2.5 hours of sleep. You get yourself validated, virtually hugged, feel supported, share things, catching up with your girls. Life’s fantastic. And the baby’s still asleep.
Diving into social media
What’s next? Of course, let’s see what the Instagram algorithm has decided to show you today. Mostly baby-related content, mostly funny. It’s either about babies or personal development – because that’s all the learning you’re doing these days: learning about yourself, your baby, parenthood, and relationship dynamics. You get one-two-three funny reels, one about being pregnant, which of course, you share with your friend who’s pregnant. Then, from nowhere, there you have a fantastic snippet from an interview that your favorite doctor, Gabor Mate, addresses an audience question about parenthood and how to pass/not pass your trauma to your kids.
The joy of sharing and learning
You’re enjoying his reply, reflect a bit on it, and then you decide to check the caption. In the caption, you get the details from where the snippet is. It’s a live podcast show called “Know Thyself,” where Gabor Mate is a guest, and they talk about trauma. You quickly copy the link and share it with your beloved community, that makes you feel worthy, validated, seen, heard, understood, and supported as a mom and as a woman, because such content MUST be shared. And then you keep listening to the podcast because it’s fantastic. Minutes later, they talk about education, about how the educational system should focus on nurturing brain development, not solely on teaching facts – you’re nodding yes at every single word that Gabor Mate is saying.
Gratitude in simplicity
You keep listening while savoring your flavorful decaf, and suddenly, you feel grateful. It doesn’t matter the amount of sleep you had because, in that specific moment, there and then, you feel joy. You feel gratitude. And that’s your fuel for the day ahead. Then you think you can’t be that selfish to keep this experience to yourself, so you jump onto your computer and start typing without too much thinking, without any structure ahead. Words are coming out of your mind, and it feels good. Might it be brain dumping? Nope. Journaling? Nope. Why not? Because this time, you wanted to share. You wanted to share how there can be joy in a sleepless night, how there can be gratitude if you allow it to happen, which means not staying stuck in the hardship of the moment.
And then guess what? You is me. And I am you. Because on this motherhood journey, we’re share the same struggles, although we’re unique.
If you haven’t poured yourself a coffee, now it’s the time. And I know you’re curious about the podcast I mentioned, so here you can listen to it or watch it:
His most recent book, The Myth of Normal is absolutely fabulous and I recommend reading it.
Now, let’s remind each other of the beauty hidden in our journeys as parents.
I’d love to hear about your moments of unexpected joy and gratitude amidst the challenges of parenthood. How do you find peace and fulfillment in the sleepless nights and demanding days? Share your stories and insights in the comments below.
Kindly,
Monica
