A Journey of Growth and Transformation – Reflections of an Expat

A Journey of Growth and Transformation – Reflections of an Expat
Me in 2016, on the Estoril Beach (Cascais, Lisbon Portugal)
In this heartfelt narrative, I invite you to join me on a transformative expat journey that began on the 6th of July 2016—a day that marked the convergence of my parents' anniversary and the triumph of Portuguese soccer. Little did I know that this day would ignite a personal rebirth, propelling me into a world of unfamiliarity and growth. 

Through my story, I aim to convey the message that change is possible for anyone seeking a more meaningful and fulfilling life. It is a tale of confronting fears, embracing the unknown, and ultimately discovering the strength to navigate the challenges of living abroad. 

By the end, I hope to inspire and empower you to make courageous choices that can reshape your life and lead to personal transformation.

On the 6th of July 2016, a momentous day seared into the fabric of my being, I embarked on my expat journey that would reshape the very essence of my existence. It coincided with my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary, a moment of celebration, and brought triumph to Portuguese soccer fans as they triumphed in the EURO2016 semifinals. Yet, little did I realise that this day would mark the beginning of my own rebirth—a chance to start anew from the very foundation of my being.

And now, here I stand, seven years later, with two cats, an extraordinary lovable partner, my own place, and a precious bundle of joy in my arms. As I navigate the intricacies of a pending citizenship application, I find myself compelled to share my expat story—the tale of a journey filled with both challenges and triumphs.

Entering a new country, a new culture, grappling with a new language, and carving a new career path—it was anything but easy. Yet, was it worth it? Absolutely. Would I do it all over again? Uncertainty lingers.

Change, as I discovered, hinges on a single decision—your decision. If you yearn to transform your life, summon the courage to take that leap. You needn’t follow my reckless footsteps and uproot your entire existence, leaving 90% of your comfort zones in ruins. Start small.

If unhappiness taints your life, remember that only you possess the power to redefine it, to infuse it with purpose and fulfillment.

Now, let me share a confession, a response to those incessant queries about how I found the courage to embark on this path. Admittedly, I’ve often delved into reflections, a side effect of growing older, as they say.

The truth is, my decision came from a place of spontaneity, fueled by emotions rather than careful deliberation. It was a “Why not?” moment that emerged after six months of being a student here. But let me assure you, it wasn’t a smooth ride. The first two weeks, the first month, the first two months—they were grueling. Such a decision reshapes your entire existence. Though you can always turn back, the looming question remains: Will I adapt? How long does it take? Do I abandon ship now? And still, the dreams and aspirations penned on paper refuse to fade, bolstered by the hope embedded in our plans. And so, the months roll on.

Initially, it’s bureaucratic hurdles, acclimating to the environment, immersing oneself in a new culture that takes center stage. Yet, the most crucial aspect lies in self-discovery, in exploring who you are as an individual. In countless facets of life—social, cultural, personal—you start from scratch. From zero.

Yes, the houses here boast doors and windows, albeit opening in unfamiliar ways. They drive on the right side, steering wheels on the left. People have two hands, two legs—nothing extraordinary. But the subtleties, the disparities—they unravel over time, observed only through the lens of the resident. A tourist will never fathom what a student perceives, just as a student barely scratches the surface compared to a resident’s insight.

To keep the story brief, I won’t bore you further, aware that your coffee grows cold or your beer warms. Yet, allow me to impart that such a decision ushers in profound change, an intriguing and enriching experience. Starting from scratch becomes your reality—what you know may or may not hold true anymore. Family, friends, acquaintances are no longer steps away. Some things are no longer as you once knew them. It’s here that you begin to discern what truly matters, which values ignite your passion, and which mentalities and habits you’re willing to relinquish. Life is sieved through the filter of a different culture. Not wholly, but in countless aspects, contingent upon our essence, our abilities, and more. Despite the difficulties, complications, and moments of anguish, once the internal storm subsides, you’ll recognise the distance you’ve traversed as a human being.

The expat journey: Becoming

Now, let’s talk about what it means to become an expat or an immigrant. Living in a different country has heightened my awareness that every decision we make is a conscious choice—an expression of our desires and aspirations.

Moreover, this journey has taught me the art of letting go. In order to make room for something new, we must release the old. Yet, bidding farewell to the familiar can be a formidable challenge. The old is comfortable, cozy, known. But growth and transformation necessitate change.

By changing countries, immersing myself in new cultures, adopting different habits and mindsets, I have undergone a profound transformation. I feel myself evolving in the direction I’ve always yearned for, and that, to me, is nothing short of extraordinary.

But let me be honest. This growth did not come without its fair share of struggles. There were times when I felt utterly inadequate, incapable of adapting to my new surroundings. An inner critic relentlessly taunted me throughout the day, bombarding my mind with doubts and insecurities.

“You’re not like them,” it whispered. “You don’t fit. Your language skills aren’t up to par. They won’t understand you. You’re just not good enough. Give up. Go back. Run away.”

During those initial months, which proved painful and challenging, I made another life-altering decision—I refused to be driven by fear. Instead, I confronted my fears head-on, one by one:

I faced the fear of rejection, the fear of not mastering the local language (in my case, Portuguese) to perfection, the fear of my own insecurities, and the fear of loneliness.

It’s a gradual process, one that demands time and self-compassion. And through it all, I’ve come to realise that the rewards outweigh the hardships.

The expat journey: thinking about

Now, to those of you who may be contemplating a similar journey: Have you ever wondered what it’s truly like to become an expat or an immigrant? To live in a foreign country?

Let me assure you, it’s an experience that will transform you from within. It will challenge your preconceived notions, broaden your horizons, and force you to question what truly matters in life. It’s about sifting through the layers of existence, filtering your perspective through the lens of a different culture. Although it may seem daunting, complicated, and painful, once the internal storms subside and the waters calm, you’ll realise how far you’ve sailed as a human being.

And now, a word about water—it has always inspired me. Just as the ocean is vast and ever-changing, so too is life. We may encounter uncertainty and unknown depths, but with every wave we navigate, we gain resilience and the courage to face the next challenge.

So, my dear reader, if an opportunity arises—an offer from another country, the freedom to work from anywhere—don’t hesitate. Take that leap of faith. Embrace the unknown. Understand that it may not be a lifelong commitment, but the rewards and lessons that follow will shape your journey in ways you cannot yet fathom.

As for me, I still don’t know if Portugal will be my forever home or if I’ll venture to another country, or perhaps return to my roots in Romania. But what I do know is this—I will always make decisions that terrify me. I will persistently strive to conquer my fears and refuse to let them dictate my path. This experience has bestowed upon me an unwavering reservoir of courage, and I know that, after careful reflection and objective analysis, another decision awaits me on the horizon.

Remember, sometimes, less is more. And to those who have accompanied me on this introspective journey, thank you. And to those who aspire to make a change but are apprehensive, feel free to reach out to me. You’ll find that often, taking that step you fear the most leads to precisely what you desire.

Few recommendations for those considering living abroad

Before I conclude, I want to leave you with some practical tips and suggestions for those considering a similar path:

  • If language learning is a concern, there are numerous resources available, from language exchange programs to online courses.
  • Embrace the local culture by immersing yourself in its traditions, cuisine, and festivities.
  • Seek out communities of fellow expats who can provide support and guidance along the way.
  • And most importantly, take the time to explore yourself—engage in self-reflection, journaling, or therapy to navigate the changes and challenges that come your way.

Living abroad has been a transformative experience for me, one that has enriched my life in immeasurable ways. It has taught me resilience, self-discovery, and the power of embracing the unknown. So, my friend, if the opportunity presents itself, I encourage you to embark on your own journey of growth and self-discovery. Take that leap, embrace the unfamiliar, and watch as your life unfolds in ways you never imagined possible.

Thank you for joining me on this personal, reflective monologue. Remember, you hold the power to shape your life, to create a meaningful and fulfilling existence. Embrace change, face your fears, and open yourself up to the infinite possibilities that lie beyond your comfort zone.